This then is how you should pray…

This then is how you should pray… 
Imagine prayer the way Genesis first hinted at it – not as a ritual, not as a formula, but as a walk with God. A real conversation. A shared path.

The adjacent image shows Jesus, walking a forest alone. The absence of someone walking with Him is not to show that Jesus has an opening for someone at this moment. Jesus always has time for anyone.

Rather, it’s to show that, before we ever walk with Jesus, He walks toward us. He walks the path alone, not because He prefers solitude, but because He’s waiting for us to join Him. Ecclesiastes describes the ache of walking through life without companionship.

We have to recognize that Ecclesiastes can be very sarcastic. And yet, in the midst of all that is also serious, important wisdom, without which we cannot have a good life.

If you don’t already know, in this book, Solomon also goes by the teacher, Qoheleth. I tend to use Qoheleth, since it reminds me that whatever goes with that name is from Ecclesiastes.

This may be the first time you’ve heard Ecclesiastes used to describe anything about the Lord’s Prayer. Hang in there though. I think it’s worth the time you’ll invest here.

Oppression, Toil, and Friendlessness

Yes, that’s the topic of the passage we’ll look at in Ecclesiastes: Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness. Doesn’t sound good, does it? But how many of us live that life, without even realizing it, because Jesus is waiting for us to walk that path above with Him.

It’s not such a far-fetched idea. Not at all. God and Adam had conversations in the Garden of Eden. While not explicitly written, it certainly is reasonable to believe Adam and God walked the Garden before The Fall, since they did exactly that after The Fall. And lots of people walked with and/or after Jesus. Plus, what Jesus said about the role of The Holy Spirit certainly calls for two-way “conversations” between Him and us.

And so, what we’ll see in the Ecclesiastes passage is just how important those relationships with God were and still are.

With that, let’s look at the opening verses of Ecclesiastes: Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness.

Before the first step – walking alone

✏️ Have you ever wished you could just get away from it all? People get on your nerves, circumstances ruin your plans, and the best solution to the problem seems to be to “go it alone.” But is it the best solution?

As Solomon looked at the problems of life, he saw adversity and inequality (vv. 1–6), but he realized that nobody can make it alone. The solitary worker may get all the profits, but he is so busy making money that he has no time to enjoy it (vv. 7–8). And how rich will he be in the grave? ¹Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). With the Word Bible Commentary (Ec 4). Thomas Nelson.
…

Warren Wiersbe; With the Word Bible Commentary

Have you ever felt like that? It’s Warren Wiersbe’s comment on the first several verses we’re about to read.

And now, here’s the first segment of Oppression, Toil, Friendlessness.

That’s pretty depressing. Especially when you learn that toil is the worst kind of work. Not just hard. But pointless as well. Maybe. It depends. On us. A choice we can make – or not.

The hidden problem of walking alone

I know from experience about this walking alone thing. I did it for a long time. Like pretty much starting from grade school and going more than three decades. It feels like it’s better. There’s not so much pain. You can convince yourself that your work is all you need. It was even fun. It often occupied everything except a few hours a day for sleeping.

I was even good at what I did. It was “fun”. But then, fun, like so many emotions, is relative. Turns out the real issue is that I didn’t know what fun was. And I especially didn’t know things like joy, peace, and love.

The first step in the right direction – not walking alone

There are two choices here – for not walking alone. Picking one is like walking through a minefield. In no particular order, one is to walk with another person or people. The other is to begin to walk with God. Maybe it’s possible to do both at the same time – but since this is step one, I know it’s something I couldn’t do. Failed miserably.

And yet, what do we do with something like the quote below?

✏️ … There are risks in society as well as rewards, but the rewards are greater. If you fall and break a leg, or if you are in danger, you are thankful to have a friend at your side to help you (Ecc 4:9–12). We all need times of solitude, but nobody can be independent. Life is tough enough even when we have friends to encourage us. What would it be like if we had to do it alone? ²Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). With the Word Bible Commentary (Ecc 4). Thomas Nelson.

Warren Wiersbe; With the Word Bible Commentary

The catch is that sometimes you reach the point where you have to ask, “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” Any Jew, Christian, or Muslim who’s read Job is all too aware of that. And even for people who haven’t read Job and never heard of him – we’ve all had so-called “friends” like his. And we can’t help but wonder if being alone isn’t the better approach.

Then, when we think of the very next segment in Ecclesiastes, right after that oh-so-depressing part, we read this:

…
Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

Ecc 4:10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Ecc 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Ecc 4:12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

So, what are we supposed to do? Walk alone? Walk with a friend? Walk with Jesus?

I can’t answer that for you, other than to say that alone is very difficult. As a Christian who’s finally able to do it, I have to say walking with Jesus is the way to go. The issue is how to get started. Why? Because even if we go it alone, start reading the Bible, it’s so very difficult to understand on our own. Impossible, actually. We need the Holy Spirit to understand. But that means we need to at least know He exists, that He’s available to help us, and so on. But how to get there?

For me – it was trial and error. I suspect it’s that way for everyone, but we all have different ways to get started. The good news is that there’s no one way that must be followed. But the flip side is that there’s also no one way that’s guaranteed to work!

And so, it must begin. One step. Then another. And the realization that there will be missteps. I’ll try to help you understand that. And some of what Jesus told us about how to approach it. But remember, the path below is only one possible way. It’s not the only way. But, regardless of the actual path, understanding what Jesus said about prayer is essential.

And this is why Jesus didn’t just walk with individuals—He sent His followers to walk with others, so none of us would have to take these steps alone.

Plus, some of what we’ll look at here is for existing Christians. We’ll look at the importance of helping others who want to come to “know Jesus”, as we say, but don’t know how to get started. It is something we’re supposed to do, as you probably know.

Not walking alone – as a seeker or as a believer

And so, if you’re trying to find a way to learn about Christianity, take a look at what Jesus told us on prayer. Prayer is a beginning, yes. Ultimately though, it’s a way of life.

And if you’re a Christian already, remember where you came from. And then try to help others learn what you learned.

Ecclesiastes defines the problem + gives an antidote to the problem

Ecclesiastes 4 describes the ache of walking through life alone — the toil, the pressure, the sense of being overpowered. But it also describes the antidote: companionship, shared strength, and finally the ‘cord of three strands’ that cannot be broken. That’s why these images move the way they do: first a person walking with Jesus, then two people walking together, and finally the two of them walking with Jesus. It’s the journey from isolation, to human connection, to a life strengthened by the presence of Christ.

All of this is why I chose the adjacent image: a quiet forest trail where Jesus walks beside someone dressed like any of us today. It’s a picture of what prayer could look like — a blending of Eden’s intimacy, David’s Spirit-led companionship, and our own modern lives.

David prayed like this long before Jesus taught the Lord’s Prayer.

His psalms read like journal entries from someone who walked with God’s Spirit through valleys, over ridges, into danger, and back into joy. His prayers weren’t recited lines; they were lived moments.

They were steps taken with God.

They are also how I learned to pray honestly, rather than mechanically. And I learned the most in the darkest, loneliest times. Today, I still pray like David wrote.

This then is how you should pray.

Before the words that we pray as The Lord’s Prayer, the Our Father for some, Jesus said:

This then is how you should pray …

How – not what.

Should – not must.

How and Should.

Some religions – even some Christian denominations – seem to be more into what and must.

But that’s not what Jesus said.

He said How and Should.

Why should we pray?

Before going any further, let’s start off with the simple question – Why?

I chose the image above for many reasons, one of which is that it answers the Why question.

Prayer is – at its core – a conversation with God.  A two-way conversation.  Yes, we say words.  Maybe out loud.  Maybe silently.  But something comes from us with the intention that it goes to God.  But it’s more than that.  If we don’t listen for a response, we’re missing a huge part of why we pray.

More on that later – but I wanted to get that thought out for yaloou right away.
So you can think and pray about it as we move on.

Of course, the other person doesn’t have to be a loved one. But it should be someone you trust, or how will you be able to tell them how you feel? Without that, how can we learn or teach, whichever person we are in the adjacent image?

When should we pray?

Some religions/people tell us when we should pray.  Some say at night is best.  Some say first thing in the morning is best.  Some believe Sunday (or Saturday, or Friday) at service is good.  On and on – so many choices.

Let’s look at some examples from the New Testament on the topic of when we should pray.

We have a number of examples, differing scenarios, and many things to consider on the surprisingly complex issue of when we should pray.

Judas needed to be replaced in the twelve

Constantly in prayer. But what does that mean? Is it really always, every second of every day? We’ll see some examples to help with that question. You can also use the tooltip on the word “constantly” for its Biblical context meaning.

Even verse 23 tells us something though. There was a specific need, a critical task to perform, and God’s guidance was necessary. And so, they prayed. No, we don’t cast lots, throw dice, pick a number from 1 to 10, or anything like that today. Why did they? Remember, at that time, the Holy Spirit was only given to specific people, only for a time, and rarely. Today, we rely on prayer and subsequent guidance from the Holy Spirit.

Paul’s letter to the Roman church

Paul wanted to visit Rome. But things kept preventing the trip. It was God’s way of telling Paul – “Not yet”.

There’s that word “constantly” again. If you used the tooltip on constantly, you know it now means, in this instance, that Paul is persistent about keeping the Roman church in his mind and prayers.

All of these passages have something in common. Yes, they are about constantly praying, which we know now has an element of persistence, as opposed to a literal “always” meaning. But there’s also a purpose. It’s not a case of checking boxes off a list of names. There’s a purpose, beyond that. Remembering why we pray. Why we’re praying. And not to remind God – He already knows. Remember the who, why, what, etc. that we pray for shows that we care. That our requests to God aren’t just “have to do” items, but “want to do”.

And while we’re at that, we get a reminder, or maybe a chance to ask ourselves, is this really for God? Have we remembered to pray for God’s will being done – and the strength to not only endure but thrive even when God’s answer is no.

These things will be covered more as we go through the series, but this gives us an idea of what’s coming.

What we learned from the New Testament examples on the topic of when we should pray.

Interesting.  Constantly.  And really – how could anything less be expected?  Which part of our lives do we not live for God?  Which part of our lives do we think we can do better without Him?  Or maybe – which part of our lives do we not want God to know about?  No matter – constantly is really the only choice if we really love God and believe our lives are truly for Him and in His hands.

Of course, those were only a handful of examples. If you search the 1984 NIV New Testament for the words “pray” and “prayer”, you’ll find it 101 times. And that doesn’t even count the instances where prayer is discussed without actually using one of those two words. Clearly, our prayer is important to God.

Given that, let’s go to the backdrop for the Lord’s Prayer – what Jesus said just before giving that prayer. We already looked at some of this in part 1, although it was from the point of view of “don’t do this”. Today, let’s consider the flip side – “do this”. By the way, if you didn’t catch it, the “don’t do this” / “do this” scenario is exactly what the New and Old Testaments look like.

And as I’ve often pointed out, it’s like teaching a child how to grow up. With little kids, they need to learn what’s dangerous, and then “don’t do” those things. Eventually/hopefully we learn enough from that and progress to “Do this”. So, let’s delve into “Do this” with prayer.

And when you pray…

Even though prayer is to be constant, it’s not something to be done for the purpose of being seen by others.  The prayer is, as I said earlier, a conversation between us and God.  Maybe it’s us as an individual, in which case the prayer is directly between one person and God.  Maybe the prayer is as part of a group, in which case the prayer is between that group and God – but certainly not for one individual to impress others in the group with our words, or to make us look more spiritual than others in the group.

It is a means of “talking to God”. It’s personal. Do we say all of our personal conversations with other people in front of a crowd with a microphone? Hopefully not. So, how much more personal is a conversation between us and our Creator? It’s also two-way. So, whilrece we won’t always get an immediate answer, maybe never get an immediate answer, we do need to allow time, space, silence, to possibly receive the answer.

We read about receiving the reward in full in part 1. The reward for praying for recognition from other people for our prayers is whatever we get from those people.

Ouch.  That means the only reward for those prayers – the ones intended to make ourselves look good – is that maybe we look good to some of the people watching us.  But that’s it.  God knows those prayers aren’t really meant for Him, and treats them as such.  No matter how eloquent, or full of flowery/”churchy” words, or how much emotion appears to have been put into the prayers – if they were meant for people, they are delivered to people.  Delivered to people.  Not delivered to God.

But, if we pray with the “Do this” attitude, the reward will be from God. What we need to realize though, even a prayer answered with “No”, or “Not yet” is the best answer. Sometimes, probably often times, we pray for something – but God’s trying to tell us that He’s got something better, or there’s a better time for what we want.

Should we really pray in a room, alone?

Here, Jesus says to go into our rooms and close the door, so no one sees us praying.  Considering His examples of not praying to look good in front of others, whether that be in the synagogue or in public, going to a room and closing the door is an excellent counter to those examples.

However, consider what Paul says about praying constantly.  Certainly, he didn’t spend his entire life in a room with the door closed.  Far from it.  We read:

Even with all that, he was constantly praying.  Not in a room alone.  Well, except those times he was in solitary while in prison.  But you get the point.  I hope.

So, how do we reconcile these two?  Do we pray constantly?  Or do we pray alone?

The answer is Yes.  To both.

 From the Bible Knowledge Commentary, we read –

✏️ Jesus prayed at every major crisis point in His life. He prayed at the time of His baptism (Lk 3:21), and at the time of the choosing of His disciples (6:12). He was often alone praying (Lk 5:16; Lk 9:18) and also prayed with others around (Lk 9:28–29). He prayed for Simon (Lk 22:32), and He prayed in the garden before His betrayal (Lk 22:40–44). He even prayed on the cross (Lk 23:46). One of His disciples, impressed with Jesus’ life of prayer, asked Jesus to teach them to pray. <fn>Martin, J. A. (1985). Luke. In J. F. Walvoord & R. B. Zuck (Eds.), The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures (Vol. 2, p. 234). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books</fn>

The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures

Let’s take a look at some of those verses – Paul’s “public” prayers, although with the public part being that they’re written in letters to other people. While we’re at it, meanpay attention to the scenarios. They certainly don’t say we need to go to church before we can pray. The simple truth is, they indicate we can pray anywhere – as Jesus did.

Our first example comes from one of those passages we tend to just skip right past. Genealogy. Just a bunch of names. And yet, look how it begins.

Jesus was being baptized. And He was praying. God, The Father, answered immediately, and in a really big way.

Yes, this was incredibly public. But then, in this scenario, as with others in the Bible, both the prayers and the results from those prayers were meant for us. They were examples. Examples of how to pray and proof that God hears prayers and also can answer prayers. That’s why they were public – not so Jesus could show off His praying prowess.

Jesus performs a miracle, then goes to pray by Himself

When Jesus went off in private – those were the times for the personal conversations between Him and the Father. They weren’t for teaching the disciples. Or for something left for us today. They were private. Those are the kinds of prayers Jesus had in mind when He talked about going into a closet.

There are so many things to learn about praying. Not about the technicalities of how to pray, but about how to have an intimate conversation with a Father, and not make it about us for another person to see. In that sense, it is about how to have a private, personal conversation with God.

It takes time. After so many decades, I still don’t have it down to a point where public prayer is “easy” or “right” – not even close. But when listening to music – writing – walking my dogs – that’s when I feel most comfortable and natural.

Praying in private – with someone

This one’s interesting. Special. It reminds me of the time before I begin a class. Yes, there’s a public part of the prayer. Generally, it’s me praying, unless it’s a bad morning and I feel like I need the prayer from someone else to help me get focused. But the real moments where I get ready are just a few minutes before others show up. That’s my time with God. I can’t pray out loud and feel comfortable, let alone get comfortable.

You may never encounter this situation for yourself. But I still feel like it needed to be included. Maybe to prepare you to do it. Or maybe to prepare you to not feel bad if you don’t or can’t do it. I don’t mean the actual scenario – I mean pray in private with someone, then turn to them and have a conversation – likely based on what you just prayed about.

Go hiking with a group and pray

Of course, this wasn’t just any hike. There was a special purpose. But hey – why not just hike and pray?

More instant answers. Again, of course, this is special. And yet, it can still happen – again, the scene not the topic. As we grow in our faith, our conversations with God will become more meaningful. Bring us closer. If we listen for an answer, whenever it comes, and follow it, we can learn God’s plan for us. Not the whole thing – but we can begin to align our will with His – increase the desire for that alignment. I have had a few instances where an answer was immediate and unmistakable. It is possible, but not something we can call up on demand. So, don’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen, or if it never happens. But at the same time, don’t stop asking for it in your prayers. Just understand, it’s God’s will not ours.

Jesus prays for us

Yes, this prayer was for Peter. But there are other examples as well where Jesus does pray specifically for us.

Yes, Jesus prayed for Peter, as He prays for us. But notice what Jesus prayed for. It wasn’t for the situation to not happen. Rather, it was a long-term prayer. Peter would fail in this instance. Three times. But Jesus prayed for Peter to turn back to Him. Peter’s soul is what Jesus prayed for. There was a lesson to be learned. Also some preparation for what was to come. It’s the same with us. Praying to avoid the scenarios is praying to not learn, to not be prepared, to not help someone else who needs us, and on and on. These things are but one reason we need to align our prayers with God’s will, not ours.

Jesus even prayed for Himself

Even in the midst of this anguishing prayer for Himself, Jesus still prayed for those with Him.

This is like an ultimate example of prayer not being only about or for us. I didn’t bring it up, but we saw that with Paul as well. Regardless of what he was going through, his prayers always included others. With David, in the Psalms, regardless of what he might be going through, his prayers always included praise and thankfulness to God.

We should try to learn to follow those examples – which Jesus also tells us in subsequent verses here in Matthew.

Prayer can be a statement, with the actual request and faith implied

This was the end of Jesus’ life. Of course, He knew this was going to happen. We can’t know with the same certainty Jesus did. And yet, there is that thing called faith, as in Can I trust what I think I know? There’s also hope, as in: Do Christians really know what “Christian Hope” is?

We should, as our faith grows, as we have more trust in god, have a certain level of confidence. Not arrogance. Not overconfidence. But the kind of confidence the Bible refers to is faith and hope. The two articles above can give you a glimpse at what that’s about.

What we learned about praying constantly

These are just some of the examples of Jesus praying.  But we see that it is very much in line with the concept of praying constantly. What we need to realize is this: praying constantly isn’t literally doing nothing but praying. We’d never get anything done, including the things God has planned for our lives. It’s more aligned with praying no matter what we’re doing, no matter where we are, no matter what time it is, etc. When I was working, I even used to pray (silently and quickly) when there were problems and even in meetings. It only takes a few seconds.

But the goal is to have prayer for everything we do. And the more we’re able to give up our own desires and seek what God has planned for us, the more natural this becomes.

As we saw – in secret doesn’t mean that we are physically locked away in a room with the door closed.  Rather, it’s our prayers that should be locked away – meant for God – not meant for others to think better of us.  Sometimes Jesus prayed for others, with them present.  Sometimes Jesus prayed in front of a handful of people.  Sometimes Jesus prayed in front of everyone.  But always – Jesus prayed to the Father.  We should do the same.

Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

We saw several examples of this above. In secret doesn’t mean that we are physically locked away in a room with the door closed.  Rather, it’s our prayers that should be locked away – meant for God – not meant for others to think better of us.  Sometimes Jesus prayed for others, with them present.  Sometimes Jesus prayed in front of a handful of people.  Sometimes Jesus prayed in front of everyone.  But always – Jesus prayed to the Father.  We should do the same.

Situations often drive whether prayer is/can be private or public.

The thing to remember, and it’s especially hard when we first begin, is that our prayer is to and for God – even when there are others listening. And especially when we’re praying for someone who’s right there hearing us.

After so many years, I still don’t feel comfortable praying with others. Sometimes it feels necessary though, especially if you’re leading the group. Even then, if I don’t feel “ready”, I ask someone else in the group/class to do an opening prayer for us.

Since I know this is hard for me, I checked for some suggestions from Christian authors.

That’s all great advice, whether it’s for a group of people, or even if it’s for two people. If even seasoned Christians have a hard time with open prayer, imagine what it’s like for someone who’s just learning to pray at all.

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans …

✏️ Jesus warned against “vain repetitions” (Gr. battalogeō — babbling or speaking without thinking). Such prayer was characteristic of the heathen, like the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:26–29). ³ KJV Study Bible

KJV Study Bible

Most of us probably have an image of this. But honestly, how many of us have actually seen a pagan worship ceremony with ecstatic chanting or mindless repetition? So here are some explanations to consider.

✏️ Vain repetitions are to be avoided, such as using names of deity over and over in a short prayer. This is neither respectful nor reverent. God hears the sincere petition without repetitiousness.

Simplicity is what Jesus urged in praying. As an example He gave what is known as the Lord’s Prayer (vv. 9–13). It is a model of simplicity and unselfish consecration.  ⁴Earle, R. (1966). The Gospel according to St. Matthew. In Matthew-Acts (Vol. 4, p. 37). Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.

R. Earle in The Gospel according to St. Matthew

Vain repetitions are to be avoided, such as using names of deity over and over in a short prayer. This is neither respectful nor reverent. God hears the sincere petition without repetitiousness. Simplicity is what Jesus urged in praying.
— Earle, Matthew Commentary

It sounds redundant to say we should avoid “pagan” things like vain repetitions. Any prayer said to a false god is, by definition, said in vain. But they don’t believe it’s vain — that’s why they do it.

On the other hand, God doesn’t need repetitions from us.
And this is where some explanation may help, especially for Catholics who pray the Rosary.

For those who pray it with its intended meditations, the Rosary isn’t vain repetition at all — it’s structured reflection. But for those who only repeat the words without engaging the meditations, something important is lost. If nothing else, it feels like missing out on what the prayer was meant to be.

Note — I’m no longer Catholic for several reasons. I don’t advocate for Catholicism, but I also don’t consider Catholics non‑Christian, as some do. We’re supposed to love each other, are we not?

To that end, here’s a link to a site that lists various Rosary meditations. It’s not my site; I provide it only as information for anyone who wants to understand the practice better. My mother was Catholic, and the meditations that went with her saying the Rosary meant a lot to her.

Again – it’s not the words.  Using more words isn’t what God wants.  It’s our true, heartfelt feelings that He wants.

On the other hand, just a list of “I want” items isn’t appropriate either. As we go through the Lord’s prayer, you’ll see there is a pattern. If you go through the Psalms that David wrote, you’ll also see that pattern. A pattern of prayer items – sandwiched between acknowledgements and praise for God. And sometimes, especially in bad times, some outright complaints. There are many examples of that as well in the Bible. And why not? It’s not like God doesn’t already know how we feel.

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

if He already knows, then the only thing left is for us to express to Him our feelings.  And they may as well be really open and honest, because He does already know. Anything less is, yes – dishonest. But I feel like a better way to put it is that anything less tells us we have some work to do on trusting God.

It’s kind of like how we talk among just people about not being able to deal with problems unless/until we acknowledge them. If we don’t acknowledge our feelings to God, then we can’t ask for help with them. And if we can’t ask for help, then – even if God was to try to help us – we’re not ready or willing to listen to – let alone accept His help!

It’s kind of a catch-22, but this is an advantage to walking with someone who’s already a Christian and has already been through things, and come out the other side, better than before, with God’s help. Maybe it’s easier to talk with a person you can see – as opposed to God, who you can’t see. It all depends on you. All I can say is, one way or another, get started somehow.

Why – revisited

Maybe all of this begs the question – why do we even need to pray?  If God already knows what we need and is perfectly capable of knowing our true feelings, why does He make us pray?  Why doesn’t He just give us everything we need right up front?

I could go on for quite a while on this one, but the Reader’s Digest answer is –

free will.

He doesn’t force us to follow Him.  He doesn’t force us to believe anything He says.  He doesn’t even force us to believe He exists!
By the same token, he also doesn’t walk away from us if we at first don’t want to follow Him.

He wants us to make a choice.  While He could force us to “love” Him, the simple fact that force was used means it isn’t Love.

So just like He won’t condemn us immediately for rejecting Him,
He also doesn’t just give us everything we need – whether we just don’t ask or totally refuse to even acknowledge Him.

And sometimes – when do we pray – the answer is “not yet”.  And harder still – the answer could be “no”.  Even if it’s something we think we really need.

And that is why the listening part is so important.

If we don’t listen – how are we to know the answer?
If we don’t listen – how are we to know the reason for the “not yet” and “no” answers?  
Even if there is no given reason, just knowing that He heard is better than forever wondering what happened.  Or if anything even happened at all.

For instance – many times for me the answer has been that I need to learn something first.
Many years ago, I changed my question from “Why not?” or “Why me?” to “What do You want me to learn (from the situation)?”   While I’ve never received an answer to the first two questions, I’ve always been made aware of what I need to learn.  Not that I actually did learn quickly, or well.  But my own issues have been pointed out.

Conclusion – This then is how you should pray…

What we’re going to learn isn’t how to recite The Lord’s Prayer.

But – just as I said, it’s a two-way conversation – there is a method in the middle of all these raw feelings.  After all, He is God.  There’s a certain amount of respect – even awe – due.  There’s an acknowledgement of His place, and our place.  He’s God.  We’re not.  There’s also that little matter of what we “need”.  Not what we “want”, but what we “need”.  And there’s an acknowledgement that we may differ in our opinions of needs versus wants when compared to how God sees it. So, what we’ll see is that how you should pray isn’t about the words – but is very much about aligning our hearts and desires with His heart and desire for us – and realizing that what He has planned for us is so much better than anything we could ever even dream of.

So, stay tuned, as we go through this amazing prayer – one thought at a time – to see how we should pray.

As we progress, you’ll see more and more how this prayer helps us to see, feel, and act on what we learn. Not only because it’s something Jesus told us to do. Rather, because just as Jesus loved us, we’ll learn more about how/why we want to love people we know as our lives are transformed and we see the importance of something else Jesus said – love others as God loves us.

Footnotes:

• 1
  Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). With the Word Bible Commentary (Ec 4). Thomas Nelson.
• 2
  Wiersbe, W. W. (1991). With the Word Bible Commentary (Ecc 4). Thomas Nelson.
• 3
  KJV Study Bible
• 4
  Earle, R. (1966). The Gospel according to St. Matthew. In Matthew-Acts (Vol. 4, p. 37). Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.